That's a carrot
by JammyWammy
Summary: Tifa discovers the hard way that Cloud isn't really that reliable in the kitchen.


It was the afternoon and Tifa had just gotten home from the day's errands such as giving the kids a ride to school, grocery shopping and liqour orders. She was in the middle of preparing dinner and was humming away as she cut the peppers she needed for the dish she was making, pork chop is already grilling away on her grill pan while her wutaian vegetable stir fry was on the process of preparation. One hungry blond housemate happen pass by the bar on his way to the living room to watch some television but instantly changed his mind at the smell of the juicy, delicious meat, so he went over to the countertop instead then took a seat at one of thhe stools.

"That smells good, can I help?" He suddenly asked that had Tifa jumping in surprise. She looked over her shoulder to acknowledge the hopeful newcomer.

"Sure Cloud. That would be great... Can you pass the bamboo shoots?" She said, Cloud began staring at her blankly.

"Uhhh..."

"There. The yellow one." Tifa pointed at the yellow strips in front of Cloud, he took it then handed it over the bar in which Tifa gladly grabbed. "Thanks. You know, Marlene got into a fight yesterday, I didn't got the chance to tell you because you came home pretty late, and you slept in." She said that caused Cloud's eyebrows to shot up.

"She... She did?"

"Yeah, apparently her friend was being bullied so Marlene defended the poor girl." Tifa sighed. "She..." The brunette visibly swallowed. "Punched the boy in the nose..." She said with a grimace. Cloud couldn't help his snort but managed to stop it in time when Tifa narrowed her eyes on him. His face went back to its usual deadpan look instantly.

"That's bad..." He managed to say with a nod of his head.

"I think all those martial arts training is not a good idea." Tifa pointed out. "Can you pass the garlic?" She said, Cloud looked down on the counter top to grab what she needed then he handed her the circular object. She took it but then she stared at him with an uncharacteristic unreadable expression. "This is an onion, the white one is the garlic." She said which made Cloud grimace.

"Oh..." Cloud grabbed the onion from Tifa's hand then handed the garlic. She turned around to go back to her chopping.

"Thanks... So anyway, we got called over to the school of course, the parents. The bully's mother was furious. She pointed her finger at my face then threw insults and curses. Called me an unmarried young mother with a couple of bastard children." She said. Cloud's eyes widened at an alarming rate at her statement, he also couldn't deny the fact that he started sweating at the word 'unmarried'.

"That's..." He was speechless but Tifa already expected that. It was quite an awkward topic after all. Tifa cleared her throat a little too loud before she spoke again.

"Yeah, can you pass the onion?" Atleast Cloud handed the right thing this time. "Thanks. So anyway, I just told her, she better watch what she was saying because now I know where her son got that viscious tongue of his. I did my best to be calm but she wouldn't stop there. The principal was so mad at the woman that she actually screamed for her to stop." Tifa sighed. "Pass the caulliflower, please?" Cloud was about the grab a vegetable but Tifa managed to stop him in time. "That's a brocolli."

"Cloud!" The blonde jumped at the sudden loud voice of Marlene who just entered the scene along with a beaming Denzel, they just got home from school.

"Why are you home so early Cloud? That's unusual." Denzel asked,, clearly thunderstruck.

"Uhhh..." Cloud started, slightly offended. "No, I'm not home early, I was home the whole time, it's my day off."

"Cool! Now we can ride on fenrir an-"

"NO." Tifa interjected before Cloud could speak and say 'yes'.

"Aawww... Tifa! Why not?!" Denzel protested with a pout.

"Because... It's Cloud's day off, he's been riding that thing-"

 _That_ _ **thing**_ _...?_

"-and the last thing he needs on his restday is going out into the road. So, yes, No." Tifa said which made all three family member eye her sideways.

"So..." Denzel started. "Is that a yes... Or a no?"

"What? It's a no." Tifa responded. Marlene spoke this time with the still side-eye.

"I thought is was a yes, because that's what you said first... Then you said no... So it was confusi-"

"It's a no. Now go get changed please. And do your homework. NOW." Tifa said firmly with her hands on her hips before the children groaned but did what was told anyway. Cloud watched the children go until they disappeared on the stairs. He turned his attention back to Tifa then he eyed the remaining vegetables on the countertop.

"So... Teef..." He started and Tifa couldn't help but notice how his voice cracked. "Listen..."

"Hmm?"

"Tonight... I was thinking..." Cloud swallowed visibly. "Of... Inviting you..." He grimaced, clearly uncomfortable.

"Yes?"

"To... You know..."

"Hmm?"

"...To dinner..." Tifa immediately froze then she slowly turned around like a mechanical ballerina with her mouth wide open. "Or something." Cloud immediately said with his eyes wide to save himself from something he doesn't know, humiliation maybe.

"D-d-dinner? Ummm... Well... I'm..." Tifa said with a blush then she looked down sadly at her chopped vegetables already grilled meat. "I'm already preparing dinner..." Cloud looked down, defeated.

"...Right... Sorry, nevermind." _What was I thinking asking her to dinner while she's already cooki-_

"B-but-" Tifa stopped his thoughts.

"What is this?" Cloud asked in an effort to change the subject.

"That's... A zucchini, but I'm not gonna use that today." Tifa while doing the side-eye this time. Wondering since when was Cloud interested in vegetables or their names, he would refer to his veggies with a weird name, for example, he called brocolli 'tiny trees'.

"Right..." He slowly said as he put his vegetable down, clearly mission accomplished in diverting the subject. "This is a chili pepper right?"

"No, they're bell peppers."

"Oh..." Cloud tapped his right hand lightly at the countertop before he stood up from the stool, then Marlene called for Tifa loudly upstairs.

"Oh, Cloud, can you sautee these garlic for a while? Then add the onions then just keep stirring." Tifa asked while Cloud scratched his head.

"Uhhh..."

"Come on, I'll just be quick." Tifa thought she was giving Cloud a favor by letting him experience cooking even of it was just sauteeing garlic and onions.

Really terrible idea.

* * *

Tifa was being asked by Marlene about something in her math homework when they smelled something all around them, Tifa, Marlene and Denzel started sniffing at the same time.

"Do you smell that?" Marlene asked.

"It smells like..." Denzel said and that's when Tifa shot up from the bed with her eyes wide.

"FIRE!" Tifa yelled before she ran out the room to do fire control. When she reached downstairs, she saw her expensive none stick frying pan in the midst of a burning inferno, Cloud was on his way to the kitchen with a bucket of water but before he could destroy her precious stove, she beat him to it by grabbing a lid then placing it on top of the burning pan with the kids screaming and yelling at the sight, not really helping the situation. Tifa then looked slowly over to a panting Cloud Strife, still holding that bucket of water then he braced himself for a possible assault, Tifa Lockhart style. And that's never a pretty thing.

"What just happened?" The brunette asked.

"Honestly, I would love to answer that question but I don't know what happened either." Cloud said flatly. Tifa stared at him blankly before she snorted, then she started laughing out loud, Marlene and Denzel followed not long after. Cloud closed his eyes before he managed a smirk, he was actually relieved that his head was still attached to his body.

"You're a terrible cook Cloud!" Denzel said with another laugh before Cloud narrowed his eyes at the boy, who instantly clamped his mouth shut.

"Cloud, you can go and relax, I'll handle dinner." Tifa suggested so there will be no house disaster again.

"Right... Sorry." Cloud said with a scratch of his head. Tifa placed a hand on his shoulder before she winked. Cloud eyes widened slightly before he blushed then he scurried away leaving a confused Tifa behind.

* * *

They were all seated in the dining table as they ate their delicious dinner, Denzel and Cloud were eating like they haven't eaten in weeks with Marlene eyeing them with a perplexed look.

"This is so yummy Tifa! Thank you!" Denzel piped with his mouth full.

"That's sweet Denz, you're welcome..."

"Now that..." Cloud started before he swallowed. He started pounding his chest from the pain of eating to much so Tifa immediately handed him some water. He gladly took it then drank it in one go before he placed the glass back down with a sigh. "Now that..." His voice cracked as he spoke. "We're all here, I would love to give Tifa a present." He said. Everyone stopped eating suddenly to look at him, in shock, which kind of offended him again.

 _Now that I think about it, when was the last time I gave Tifa someth-_

"You got Tifa a present and not us?!" Marlene protested making Cloud jump.

"I uhh..."

"So not cool Cloud." Denzel said with a shake of his head.

"I was suppose to give this if the two of us went out to dinner tonight-"

"You invited her to dinner but didn't invite us?!" Marlene said, completely appalled.

"Right..." Cloud said slowly with his eyes narrowed then he cleared his throat loudly. "Well..." He glanced at Tifa who was across from him and her face was bright all over. Cloud tried to smile but out of nervousness, it turned out to be a grimace. Tifa's happy face melted into confusion with her eyebrows knitted together at the look on his face. Cloud sighed before he grabbed something from his pocket then handed it to Tifa. All three family members stared at the object with their eyes and mouths wide open. It was a piece of vegetable, a long, thin, orange colored vegetable. Tifa slowly took it with her face not changing.

"C-cloud! What is this?!" She asked with a small laugh. And that's when Cloud smiled, a rare and genuine smile, not a creepy one, before he answered her question.

"That's a carrot." He said with an even wider grin. And that's when Tifa started laughing out loud. Atleast he knew the vegetable, though Tifa wasn't really asking about the orange colored thing.

It was the ring that was inserted at the end of it.


End file.
